Warning: This post will ruin endings of crappy movies for you.
I've been totally F-ing up my sleep schedule, hardcore. Now I can't even fall asleep before, like, 5:30 am. It's totally lame. I should be on the way to getting it back on track, though, since I no longer have to beat THEME HOSPITAL. Why? Because I totally already did!!
Yessss!!! I am the best hospital administrator ever!!! So because I can't sleep at night, I watched two pretty crappy movies last night. One was a sequel of the other, so going into it I even knew it would be crappy.
Ok. These gigantic toolboxes meet on a train in Europe. She's French, returning to Paris after visiting her grandma, and he's American, returning to America after being dumped by his gf who's studying in Madrid. His flight out of Vienna is the next day, so after talking to this surprisingly hot girl on a train for a couple hours, he convinces her to delay her homecoming and get off the train with him in Vienna for the night. No, Losers, not to have sex (although they do), but to walk around Vienna for the night. Apparently he doesn't have enough money to get a hotel, so he just wants to explore the city all night. (Side note: he has enough money to buy beer and pay for palm readers and street poets, but whatever). Sounds like an ok premise though, right? Well, it is an OK premise. And ok dialog and ok scenery and ok events...whatever, it was just ok. I'm sorry but a movie has to be more than that to get more than 2 stars from me (unless there's dancing, cheerleading, or gymnastics involved). Anyways, they do all this stupid stuff in Vienna all night, and all I can think is how freakin' tired and pissed off I'd be not to sleep at all or shower. They decide that there's no way they could logically ever see eachother again, so there just going to have this one fabulous night together, no strings attached. Except, oops, they're eachother's soulmates. Bleh...So she tells him she doesn't want to sleep with him and be upset and wondering who he's with later when she's not around (understandable), but then she sleeps with him anyways (also understandable). At the end of the night, they decide that they do, in fact, want to see eachother again, but instead of exchanging contact info (AT ALL), they decide to meet back in Vienna in 6 months. Romantic, but impractical.
Here's why I mostly didn't like the movie. First of all, I'm very sensitive to colours in movies and how things are shot and stuff. Well, I guess the whole underlying concept of the direction in this movie was how the people just fade into the background. I didn't realize this at first, but then it as directly stated by the female lead when looking at a painting. Then I totally realized it because it was then totally obvious. It wasn't obvious at first to me because why? Because this is a pretty boring concept. Until the character pointed it out, I was like "what is wrong with this boring movie?" After she stated it, I was like "What? You just have to come out and say it like that? You suck at directing, Director!" The other thing that pissed me off was the ridiculous theme of spirituality. The characters talked about reincarnation then in a separate conversation talked about how she felt like an old woman and he felt like a 13-year old boy. Like we can't put those things together, Writer. Not-so-subtly trying to get your plug in for reincarnation, are you? Well, I'm not believing it, Lame-o. Anyways, there was a lot more than that too. All this talk about there being a God or not seemed like it was supposed to be profound, but it came off as two pseudo-intellectuals trying to be existentialists. And there's nothing more in life I hate than pseudo-intellectuals trying to be existentialists. And you know what? I don't think God likes it either. Maybe that was the point, but if so, that was a weak point. WEAK! Maybe if they had shown more (any) of the sex, the movie would have been better. I think that was done intentionally as well to make you wonder if they actually did it.
But the movie gets points for making me want to watch the sequel immediately to see if they do meet up in 6 months. (Side note: This may have been due to my inability to sleep at 3:30 am.)
So did they meet up again? Of course, there's a sequel, right? Did they meet up 6 months later? No, no they did not. Why? Inevitably because of a misunderstanding because they DID NOT EXCHANGE CONTACT INFO. Fags. Ok. Fast-forward to 9 years later. He wrote a book about the whole experience with her in Vienna, and, naturally, it was a best-seller. So he's on a book signing tour that just happens to end in Paris. She comes to his book signing at some crappy book store, and they take it to a coffee shop. Sorry, Paris. Cafe (accent mark somewhere...over the "e"?). Anyways, this movie was way worse than the first because it felt like I was stuck hanging out with two people who I really didn't want to be with. Know how it is when you're with these people who are just having the BORINGEST conversation about freakin' something lame? Well, this time it was all pseudo-intellectually about the environment. Ugh. Funny thing, though, she no longer believes in reincarnation. Ha. So this time, he only has until sunset, and then he has to go back to the US. You know, where his wife and kid are...yeah. Frenchy didn't meet him in Vienna because her grandma died, and she had to attend the funeral. He made it to Vienna and even put up all these posters with contact info on them (yeah, now he realizes the importance of contact info) just in case she was late or something. So guess what? His marriage is loveless. Aw. So sad. And her current relationship, athough good, doesn't measure up to what she thinks she might have had with him. They talk about how she lived in NYC for a while, and he did too at the same time. Blah blah blah. She wrote a song about him...he wrote a book about her. Blah blah blah. The movie ends with her saying, for the hundredth time, "You're going to miss your plane." And this time, instead of saying "No, I have time," he says, "I know." Ok, what about your kid that you've been raving about? Whatever. I didn't see how the movie could end any other way. The thing that mostly made this movie suck compared to the other one is that this time I didn't actually care what the hell happenned to these people. Maybe I was just getting tired at 5 am, though I doubt it because I couldn't sleep for, like, another hour.
In conclusion, watch these if you want to, but be prepared to feel like a third wheel through most of BOTH of them, but moreso in the second one.
I haven't been TOTALLY wasting my life this past week, though. I've been participating in research as well as getting some speech hours in. I just had to say that to make myself feel a little better. On to next week...
Ok, in slightly-premature preparation for my upcoming road trip, I am going to list the things I wouldn't mind seeing/doing along the way.
Watch the Tram Car, Please!
