Look What I Found...

Courtesy of AOL and Spinner:

Concert Etiquette

My Night Continues...

So J.Ray left, and I was like, "Guess I'll make pudding so that I won't have to do it tomorrow, and wait for it to cool, blah blah blah." I go to the kitchen and flip out because...NO MILK! AND in the CT, no stores are open at this late hour. I was like, "Meliss, want to go to the gas station? They might have milk." She was like, "Ok." Then the gas station was all dark and closed. I just kept driving until the Wendy's sign came into view. "Wendy's is going 'healthy'!! I think they have milk!!" They did!! I was soooo proud of myself for setting a goal and accomplishing it no matter how many stores were closed. So I get home, and I'm tired, and I'm making the pudding...I was like, "Well, let's just look at the recipe and see what comes next for tomorrow." And would you believe that when I looked at that recipe I saw that it only called for the pudding mix and not the actual pudding!! That's right, my poor reading comprehension/unwillingness to fully read things strikes again! I had done all of this for no reason, and now I (and by "I," I mean "Melissa") am stuck stirring this pudding until it boils, like, 5 hours from now? For no reason?? No f-ing way. I was about to dump it down the drain in disgust, but Melissa was like, "Let's just finish." So I switched it to the microwavable way of making it. I guess I'll bring extra pudding to the party tomorrow, too...and stop and get more pudding mix...and read directions better from now on!!! Does this even make sense? I am so tired.

I Just Found Out About This!!!

HAHAHA...LOLCATS!! Ok, I found so many good ones of these, and I was just going to post them, like, one a day or something, but I can't be trusted to post that regularly. So here's all of them (except the Hitler one I can't find...someone please find it for me!!!):


























And if you can't understand any of that, I highly recommend this manual:








HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!11!

Curiosity: Satisfied

I finally checked out that mini-river/crick near mi casa. Here is a collection of my thoughts as I was trip-trapping through the woods (where there was NO path):

1. I'm just like Pearl!
2. Ew.
3. How many spider webs is too many spider webs?
4. I bet any amount of money that I am COVERED in all things poison.
5. Not only will I see my first wild snake, I will most assuredly be bitten.
6. Someone could totally murder me out here.

I had to go back in and take a shower. Hopefully, I won't develop any major rashes.

That Little Brat...

Lupe scared the H out of me to other night. It was Sunday, her feeding time, and I unthawed (ha) her mouse. I was super tired, and I actually forgot about it. I went to go to bed, and I was like, "Oh crumbs, the snakey-girl must eat." So I got everything in the shoe box ready and put her in it. She did her usual, nosing her mouse until she decided to start eating. I checked on her, and she had the head in her mouth and was doing fine as usual. So I started getting ready for bed. I looked over a couple times, and she seemed to be going really slow. Then the last time I looked over, she was crawling out of the shoe box. I thought she was finally done, but then I went over and the whole freakin' mouse is still in the box. I was like, "Excuse me, Miss! Where are you going??" She was NO LONGER INTERESTED in her food. What??!?!?! I started getting panicky but calmed myself down. She is going to shed soon, after all (not that that's ever mattered before). So I picked up the mouse with tweezers and wiggled it around. SHE DID NOT CARE! Then she started getting afraid of the mouse. She was even sneezing/hissing? at it. I was getting really worried. I thought, should I lock her in the shoe box with the mouse overnight? I decided it wasn't a dire emergency, and she could actually go much longer without eating. BUT I really wanted her to eat. The mouse seemed ok...same as all the others...not rancid or anything. I decided to put the shoe box in her home overnight. I went to bed, worried about her, but when I woke up the next morning, the mouse was gone. So she's not sick or anything, just being a little B-word.

The Elusive Currant...

God does not want me to have currants. That is what I must deduce from the way my life is going, currant-wise. My first introduction to the currant was informal. I enjoyed it so much, yet I was unaware of the fruit's identity. I was in a foreign country, and, although my companions were excellent English speakers, no one could remember the English name of the berry. (Me: "Bing cherries?? Are you sure it's not bing cherries? I've never had those, but this seems like what it would taste like. I'm just gonna call them bing cherries...") It took about a year to track down its information. Then, once I knew its name, I was certain I'd be able to easily track down such a succulent and wonderfully tart berry. Well, I should have taken a hint from the fact that I had never before had one in my 19 years on this planet. Finally, I decided (some years later...bringing us to the present) to purchase a currant bush of my very own and raise it to adulthood at my parents' house. What a plan! I quickly ordered the coveted plant, and the waiting began. And the waiting continued. And many of the other plants I ordered arrived. So I called the vendor. Well, they were sorry that they hadn't sent out my plants, but they would get the grapes in the mail a.s.a.p. Unfortunately, the currants were out of stock. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!11!1 Curses! Now I am back to square one. Dear God, please allow me to have currants...

Even the Chimblinis Think It's Crumby!

Super fun weekend!! Here goes the recap:

Friday: Finally returned that sweater at Old Navy. Enfield Old Navy suuuuuucks, by the way. I can't say that enough. They're always closing early and f-ing me in the a, first of all. Also, they're rude. So then I went to return the sweater, and no one was in line. The kid at the register was helping a customer, and the two little B-words were down at the end doing God-knows-what, WITH their little This-register's-available light beaming bright. So I stared and stared at them. Alas, to no avail. The kid get's done with his customer, so I go over there, but he doesn't know how to do an online return. So he hollers for the girl on the end and she's like, "giggle, giggle, I'm helping a CUSTOMER..." So finally she comes down, but why? Because she doesn't know what she's doing either. So then the kid's like, "Can you call so-and-so to the front?" And the B-word walks away and is like, "Can I help you?" to the next customer. In the end, I did get my sweater returned. The Old Navy kid was nice and as helpful as he could be, but everyone else was a loesr. Then I looked at Scions in the car lot, and they are so cute. I think I'm gonna hold off on that purchase for a while, though (more on this later). I also fed the snakey-girl.

Saturday: Church was good. I was going to visit Fran in the nursing home with Gramie, but we couldn't because she's in ICU in the hospital. I guess they were going to amputate her foot, but when they got her all set up for surgery, the doctor decided he didn't want to do it. I guess her foot started getting circulation in it again. I don't really know why she's in ICU, though. Unless it's because they did put her under and everything, and maybe she's having a hard time recovering from the anesthesia. Getting old sucks, that's all I gotta say. Increased surgical risks, possible losing extremeties? Bleh.

So I just brought Gramie home. I suddenly had a lot more time on my hands than I had planned for. So I called Emily to get her exact location. The sky was getting dark and stormy-looking, and I wanted to submerge myself in some sort of body of water before the electricity started coming out of the sky. I called and called Emily, but she REFUSED to pick up. Refused. That's all I'm going to say about that. Next I'm just going to jump to the part where I found the J. Ray at her work. So then we spent some time grading/reading Hawthorne (her grading and me reading Hawthorne). Side note: Hawthorne rocks! I would so be friends with him if we existed at the same time.

I was going to sleep over her house because we had such plans for Sunday, but I had phoned my mom, and she informed me that the whole house was empty for the night. We decided that sleeping there was a mas mejor idea, as it would be less stressful on a number of parties. Well, she had to go home yet, so I ordered Angellino's and picked it up on the way home.

We ate dinner and promptly spent the next, like, 4 freakin' hours immersed in New England dialect. SWHS had this book about American dialects, and Emily brought it over for me to help her decipher things. Anyways, it was SO FUN. Turns out, the NE dialect they're talking about is that which is spoken in Maine/New Hampshire, etc. It was so funny to read out loud! Most of it didn't apply to our speech, but some of it did. Particularly the glottal stop stuff (i.e. bu'in instead of button, Bri'in instead of Britain, etc) and dropping certain letters (i.e. amost instead of almost). Also, the monologs were awesome, ayuh! Finally, we watched some t.v., but SNL wasn't on, which was gay, so we just went to bed.

Sunday: The cat woke me up over and over and over and over and over again...from 4 am - 9:30 am, when I decided to get out of couch, but I digress. We had so many plans for the day. We were going to go hiking, buy shoes, look at and test drive cars, etc. But it was raining! And how! I thought to myself, "Rain hiking. No. Rain biking? No. Rain car shopping?? NO!" I ate some leftovers. Then we read some more of those awesome monologs. Man, that book really had a hold over us, that's for sure. BUT by the time I was done, it was no longer raining, and Dave had returned from his adult male sleepover (yeah, weird).

I was like, "Let's go biking!" And J. Ray was like, "Mehhehhhmhhmm...I...don't...know...about biking. Um, the last time I went, it was really bad. I don't think I'm good at biking anymore...etc etc...tons more stupid talk..." I was like, "Let's just try it. If you don't like it, we'll stop. Soapstone (which is the hiking mountain I was entertaining the idea of going to) is kind of a sucky hike because it's paved or there's trails, but they're slippery (cause of the soapstone)." So we went on an impressively-long bike ride around the Snip and back to my parents house in a Biiiiiig circle. There were a lot of hilly hills, too, so it was pretty difficult. We both had a lot of fun, though, and it was a nice sense of accomplishment.

We were wicked hot though, so we decided to go for a swim. I wore my "new" bathing suit, and it's AWESOME! Then we cleaned out the pool That took up most of the pool time. Then my mom came home, and we chatted w/ her for a while. Then......

We went shoe shopping. There are so many shoes at DSW; it's really fun to go there. I found the elusive brown shoes I had been looking for, so the goal was met, but it was a little discouraging 'cause there were, like, 3 other pairs I would have bought if any of them had fit right/felt comfortable. I didn't really need them though, but they were nice. Like I said, I was kinda bummed about that, but I accomplished the goal, so I should feel good. Raymour and Flanigan was next door, so...

Well, I had been thinking of getting a Tempurpedic-like mattress for a while, so I wanted to see what they had. We spent a good long while hanging out with this tool of a saleswoman and trying all the beds. She REALLY wanted to sell me a mattress, but I was not mentally prepared to drop that much money today, so no one was talking me into a sell. Besides, I still have some thinking to do. I pretty much decided to wait on the car though and get a new mattress instead. It's cheaper anyways (though not by freakin' much...geez). I want to try a Bob-o-Pedic before I make my decision. I love that bear on the commercial! If I decide to go back to Raymour and Flanigan, I don't know if I'll contact that same saleswoman, though she practically begged and pleaded me to, because she was real tooly.

So I pretty much just got home, checked on the Countess, and wrote this b-log before I didn't feel like it any more. This should hold you for a while...